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Advice column: moving on from confusion and heartbreak

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Dear Desiree,

My boyfriend broke up with me in February. At the time I was heartbroken, but I got over it quickly. However, he will text me randomly saying he misses “us,” or that he misses hanging out with me. Every time this happens I just pretend I’m over it, but I don’t think I am. I can’t stop thinking about how happy I was. I haven’t been the same way since. I don’t think I’m depressed, but I haven’t been happy in a while. He texted me today saying that he hopes I find a great guy, but then he started talking about how many girls he’s hung out with. He also told me that he hooked up with his ex-girlfriend again. How do I respond to that?

Thanks,

Confused

***

Dear Confused,

There’s only one way to respond to that: Don’t respond at all! As hard as it’s going to be, the best thing for you to do is block his number, his Facebook, his Instagram, etc.

Trust me, I know exactly how you’re feeling. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up in July. I was heartbroken at first, but in August he started messaging my friends and me, trying to see how I was doing. As much as I wanted to pretend I was over him, I couldn’t. However, I knew I needed to grow and move on, and the best way to do that was to cut him out of my life. As hard as it was at the time, it was the best decision I have ever made. If I never blocked him, then I never would have met the perfect guy that I get the honor of calling my boyfriend today.

There’s someone out there for you, who’s a much better fit for you than he was. It is perfectly normal to miss him sometimes. You shared your life with him for however long you were together.

However, if you miss him to the point where you are always unhappy, then I recommend seeking professional help. Personality changes, as well as prolonged unhappiness, are two early signs of depression. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I suffer from depression, as do millions of people every year. There are several different types of depression, which is why it is best for a professional to get involved.

Also, the fact that he feels the need to tell you about the girls he has hung out with/slept with just means one thing: he’s insecure. He needs you to know what he’s been up to feel good about himself. It’s childish, and you deserve better. Better might come tomorrow, or a few years from now. All I know is that it is best to look forward and be patient. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have my current boyfriend to treat me like a queen, make me smile like crazy, and love me with his whole heart.

Sincerely,

Desiree

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Advice column: moving on from confusion and heartbreak