You Owe Nothing To Toxic Family Members

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There seems to be an expectation that often comes from family. Since you are their kin, society feels as if you should do everything in your power to repay them for what they did for you. This is not a bad rule to follow if your family treats you right and pleasantly. Kindness should be repaid with kindness. However, people often expect the same thing from children who come from abusive households. They place that expectation and even shun others for hating their abusive family members.

People often do not realize that you were not asked to be put in this world. Being alive does not equate to owing your family anything. If they are not even able to give you the bare minimum, then you owe them less than nothing. The idea might seem controversial, especially to parents who do everything for their child that turns his or her back on them. However, you must understand that your child never asked to be alive, never asked to be put here, and it was the decision of the parents to give the child life.

Now, I’m not going to say that you should disown your family because you feel as if you do not want to care for them. But what I am saying is that a standard should not be held towards children that they must repay a parent for having basic living conditions. A child, once reaching an age of maturity and individuality, has no obligation to give back to the parent what was expected from them. If a child does not like their parent, for whatever reason, no one should have the right for judging the child for what they feel. Instead, they should be understanding and sympathetic. Of course, such things are cultural. In the United States, we treat the idea of parent and child differently. But other cultures should also try to learn and respect their children in a similar manner. And that hopefully we can end this idea of shame for disliking, or even outright hating, family members.

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