The seventh episode of Rai 1’s talent show for VIP dancers is full of technical problems. Also including Magnini’s outburst about nothingness and Barbara d’Urso’s contrition as she dusts off her set of veneers. Mrs. Emma Coriandoli has finally been eliminated.

Fabio Fognini king of chaos (and married his ‘grandmother’): vote 9

Where you put it, it makes a fuss. And it’s a real show. Fabio Fognini remains, perhaps surprisingly, the greatest revelation of this ‘Dancing with the Stars’ so far. Called to improvise a solo choreography for just 45 seconds, he doesn’t know which way to turn and transforms into a bear hugging everyone: even Rossella Erra, whose scarf he steals for no plausible reason. Finally he mentions a filler striptease, while he laughs it off and then apologizes ‘to all of Rai’ for his manifest incompetence on the dancefloor. The clip with his wife Flavia Pennetta is delightful: married since 2016, he calls her ‘Nina’ from ‘Nonnina’ “because she is five years older than me, I saved her like that on my phone too!”. She, however, has always nicknamed him “baby”. The first time she saw him, she thought that “with that guy there” she would never be there, not even for two minutes. It’s nice to see a couple united by such self-irony and, above all, regenerating to see that someone among the almost perpetually sad talent contestants remembers to provide entertainment, to smile as if they weren’t proceeding towards the gallows every minute. Is Fognini good at dancing? In short, he is certainly not Rudolph Nureev, to put it mildly. But he wants to stay there, have fun and entertain. He gives the impression of really being like that in life: spontaneous and over the top, a crazy horse. Not obvious for a tennis champion who grew up training with rigorous discipline. It doesn’t even lack an impeccable external design, starting from that unpunished face. Flavia Pennetta among the most enviable women in Italy? Maybe.

Barbara d’Urso returns contrite and dusts off her set of ‘ancient’ veneers: rating 5-

Up until now it has been fun to see her not ‘barbadurare’ on the show, to admire her resisting with unsuspected class the rudeness of the jury who did the impossible to force her to talk about her expulsion from Mediaset, perhaps throwing fiery arrows at the Biscione. But nothing, Carmelita is a rubber wall. Now, however, at least one problem arises: is it possible that Barbara d’Urso is in the cast and offers nothing to comment on, other than good feelings? He dances (very well) with Pasquale La Rocca to the notes of ‘Avrai’, Claudio Baglioni, and is in splendid form both aesthetically and harmoniously. In the introductory clip she opens her heart (to heart) talking about her relationship with her children and here she is crying over the thousand difficulties of having raised them alone after the divorce. Maybe they would have preferred him to work less and be more present at home ‘but I had to run the business, I had no choice’. Mother courage, while she explains all the reasons why it has always been so hard to be Barbara d’Urso, we fall asleep. He is 67 years old, with two Unesco heritage legs and an off-the-scale energy. And she remains among the few to shine with natural beauty, she didn’t have her features distorted by the first surgeon-butcher on duty. In addition to his iron genetics, it is known that he has an unparalleled cock. Why does he leave it in the dressing room before going on stage every Saturday night? The dramas on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ are for extra contestants who have no other topics. Barbarella in this race was born an arsonist and is ending up a firefighter. Drowsiness.

Milly Carlucci between the gaffe on Vessicchio and the ‘patch’ on social televoting: 5

Mrs. Emma Coriandoli is (finally, ed.) eliminated at the beginning of this episode. From that moment, the live broadcast goes awry in every possible way, as if the disowned competitor launched very powerful macumbes from the edge of the track. The main ‘victim’, Milly Carlucci, who commits suicide precisely on the memory of Maestro Peppe Vessicchio, who unfortunately passed away in the afternoon. With immense pathos, the presenter renames him ‘Versicchio’. But what a bad gaffe! Then, try to put a stop to the many doubts that surround televoting. In particular, from the beginning of the program, it is suspected that Nancy Brilli – or rather, the agency that takes care of her social networks – buys hundreds and hundreds of bots (fake profiles, ed.) for her to inflate the popular approval of the actress. This is no small feat given that virtual likes and hearts are the only way to express your preferences from home and account for 50% of the final ranking of each episode, tied with the numbers assigned by the jury. Well, Carlucci doesn’t name any names but explains: “I read some bad comments on the web about televoting. We wanted to assure our public that every like on social media is filtered by a company we trust to take into account only the valid ones. So don’t pay attention to the numbers you see online, they could be unreliable.” But this leaves a problem of transparency: people vote at home, they can see the results in real time but wouldn’t they always be reliable? And according to what criteria? Perhaps Carlucci would have been quicker to tell his competitors not to abuse bots, instead of sinking with the classic worse-than-hole patch. In any case, he doesn’t get it right: he launches random advertisements wrapping himself up with the set list (it never happens to her!, ed.), he patches up the memory of ‘Versicchio’ and he also has to get by when the introductory clip to Paolo Belli’s performance suddenly stops, cutting off his usual tears. Mrs. Coriandoli may have been a casting error, but Bagnocavallo does not forgive.

Fialdini dances better than anyone (with one foot). But won’t it be too much of a tooth fairy? vote 7

The winner, announced and predicted, was lame. Francesca Fialdini continues the race, despite a bad injury during practice making it impossible for her to put one foot on the ground. Despite his bad luck (and physical pain), he still performs and dances better than everyone else combined. Despite being on one leg. When Selvaggia Lucarelli compares her to a flamingo, he is not wrong at all. Given all this, it is also true that Fialdini always seems like the tooth fairy with this very delicate voice, never a word out of place or a movement that is not graceful beyond words. From the looks of it, it seems that the Gialappian ‘Bianca Guaccero treatment’ has been prepared for her and she deserves it too. However, despite his unquestionable skill on the track, he is quite a bit weak. It always seems like he wants us to find some copper coins under the pillow to thank us all, one by one, for the support or even just for existing. An eternal, delicate meow. Will Fialdini also have plausible emotions? We will probably discover him on the other side of the rainbow, where he has already left us a treasure chest full of marshmallows and cotton candy. Everything is beautiful, a real fairy tale. But dear.

Magnini drama queen, the truth is that she can’t stand Fognini: rating 4

He is not sinuous in dancing, perhaps as a true ‘trunk’ only the eliminated Beppe Convertini could beat him. Furthermore, unfortunately, Filippo Magnani is not only rigid in his dancing, but also in his way of acting. So much so that I can’t explain why it is so indigestible. After the performance of this episode, he attacks the jury by complaining of favoritism (without naming names, ed.). According to him, he certainly wouldn’t dance worse than ‘others’ who however regularly receive higher marks. Hence, the outburst, or rather, the volcanic eruption: “I’m a rosicone, that’s fine. Sometimes I think I’m judged like Pernice, Di Pasquale and the professional masters of the show. Because there are many imperfections that you don’t say anything about, while you don’t let me get over one.” The reference, as Lucarelli immediately points out, is to Fabio Fognini. Even if the former swimming champion denies it. There is no doubt, however, that he wanted to be the handsome, impossible and highly appreciated athlete of the edition. Instead, the public and jury prefer the tennis player king of chaos. What lese majesty! Magnini gets so out of line that he starts mentioning his wife at random, as if someone among the jurors had said a word out of place about her. Never happened, but now Magnini has entered drama queen mode and then everything is worth it, he takes no prisoners, this is truly an attack of ‘Fogninite’. The swimmer out of the water appears so enraptured by himself that he doesn’t realize that, with almost equal incompetence towards dance, it’s no one’s fault if the tennis player is a loose cannon capable of putting on a show even just with every micro-facial expression. While he, among the many he has, does not possess this gift. He ends the match in the bottom of the rankings and the play-off is played dancing as if he were there to do us a favor, a favor. Really, the thought was enough. Not seeing himself as a protagonist, he lost the desire to participate. A big kid who puts his foot down for attention will compete for elimination next Saturday with Marcella Bella. Let’s hope that the televoting (‘filtered’, ed.) will send him on holiday to the very high ‘Green Mountains’. No, not those of his ego.

The arguments between Selvaggia Lucarelli and Rossella Erra are the real show: rating 8

“Rossella, you’ve been here for five years and you still haven’t understood that I ignore you and will continue to ignore you until you yourself begin to doubt your existence”. Selvaggia Lucarelli silences the Tribuna del Popolo Rossella Erra with this pyrotechnic periphrasis that we will all, from here on out, recycle in life for anyone who dares to annoy us. And thank you very much! After all, the bickering between the two is increasingly becoming the spice of the program, the wicked delicacy we didn’t know we needed. Shortly before, it was Erra who attacked the (enemy) sworn. After Fognini’s performance, which Selvaggia seems to appreciate not only in terms of performance, Lucarelli dares to criticize: “The only thing I didn’t like was how you looked at your wife while you danced.” Then Erra enters with the tractor and detonates: “Oh sure! But only because he doesn’t look at you like that!”. It seems that ours took off their greetings behind the scenes of the show. But what does it matter? If in exchange they manage to offer these succulent vitriolic squabbles, they would never speak to each other again for the rest of their lives with the cameras off, nothing to complain about! During the live broadcast, however, their poorly concealed tension is irresistible: they look like Izma and Kronk in ‘The Emperor’s New Groove’. Let’s keep the popcorn warm for the next meals, we don’t even care about who is right and who isn’t. In a ‘Dancing with the Stars’ with d’Urso perpetually asleep so much so that the controversy lies in the hands of Messer Triglia-Magnini, this is the real show.