A few weeks ago, in Salerno, yet another suicide occurred in an Italian university. The dynamics of this case is not clear, but it is easy to hypothesize that it is sadly similar to what has already happened in different Italian universities in recent years. In fact, a recurring pattern seems to be outlined: a student or student remains behind with the exams, for various reasons, often linked to anxiety. In order not to disappoint parental expectations, which often turn into real pressures, he comes to lie to them, saying that he has passed an exam that he actually did not even take.

Social anxiety

It often happens that prepared students do not present themselves to appeals due to social anxiety, for fear of disappointing the teacher’s expectations or making a bad impression in front of colleagues. In some cases this lie remains an isolated episode and maybe the young man finds the strength to confess it to his parents. In other cases, however, many others follow the first lie, until you can get out of it and you are crushed. There are students who have even come to stage a false proclamation of a degree in order not to admit, even to themselves, to be blocked in their degree path. And these cases, however absurd and as far as many arouse hilarity, hide immense psychological dramas, a suffering difficult to understand for those who have not experienced it on their own skin.

Failure

Unfortunately, there are also those who will never manage to face the disappointed gaze of parents or their peers and come to prefer to take their lives rather than admit their “failure”. This term, “failure”, is the one we fear most in today’s society, a company that suffocates us if we do not keep the pace of personal fulfillment. In February 2023 the suicide in the Bagni della Iulm in Milan of a girl of just 19 years old, who already felt too far from the others. How is it possible that a young man of even twenty years feel that his life is already so compromised that he could no longer go on? This is a question on which we must reflect deeply, and the dismay of university rectors are not enough, it is no longer enough.

The “Fallacia of lost costs”

It is necessary to implement psychological support programs in all Italian universities, but this is also not enough. We must talk about it publicly, discuss it as a community, so that this chain of “university suicides” breaks and the students find the strength to talk about it with family and peers. On a psychological level, often what is striking is the so -called “lost cost fallacia”: since I have already invested too much time and resources, in particular money, I convince myself that I can no longer go back, even when I can’t go ahead. Here then comes the blockade and the paralyzing fear. A vicious circle is grafted that crushes and drags more and more into the abyss, to give us the vivid feeling that it is impossible to get out of it. But get out of it can only if those around us are willing to welcome us and give us the right advice. Changing the way in life is not wrong, on the contrary, it is one of the greatest skills we can and we must develop.