On the day of Father’s Day, a series of posters appeared in Bologna that pay attention to the psychological violence typically lived by men. The idea is taken from a previous campaign of the Emilia-Romagna region against violence against women, who produced posters with writings like “Sei cretina-if it tells you is violence” or “even your friends are not able to endure you-if it tells you it is violence”. A definition of violence perhaps a little too wide, in my view, but which, if accepted, must also apply to inverted parts.

Those of March 19 were therefore posters with a blue background and phrases like “You are a failed” or “I take off your children and ruin you”, always accompanied by the comment “If you tell you it is violence”. The initiative is thanks to the subtracted parents association, made up of separate parents who fight for equal bigenagery, that is, for the guarantee that even in the event of separation and divorce the children have the right to be with both parents, except in cases of violence, of course.

An concealed and unknown theme to many

The goal is therefore to shed light on the figures of fathers removed from their children, and in general on violence against men, who often has as its own tool, used as blackmail and threat and not rarely removed from the father, with the support of the courts. It is a fundamental claim, for which March 19 is a symbolically important date: the cases of fathers thrown on the pavement, falsely accused, deprived of the children, do not make news. In general, the cases of male suffering, such as that of Paolo Silletti, committed suicide following continuous blackmail and threats by the wife, do not report.

And of course there is little talk about the instrumental use of the children; Indeed, since it has been rightly established that there is no parental alienation syndrome, it has been decided that there are no women who convince the children that the fathers are evil, indifferent, violent, and they alienate them for years. The devaluation of the paternal figure goes hand in hand with the sanctification of the woman, perpetually and solely victim; After all, Father’s Day overflows with clichés about mothers who make dads …

Man is privileged even when he is a victim

The most absurd thing is that this state of affairs – that is, the private fathers of the children and consequently of the house owned and often forced to materially unsustainable maintenance checks – is attributed to the patriarchate. Whenever we speak of violence against men, the answer is that of course, men are victims of the same patriarchy who wanted to build to be privileged (I know, logic is not known in certain environments); Above all of a patriarchy who, by its nature, would foresee among the prerogatives of the father precisely the power over the offspring, but okay, this is the patriarchate 2.0.

The initiative, surprisingly, had little media relevance; It has been reported by some local newspapers with expressions such as “the controversial advertising” or “shock advertising” – when there is nothing controversial, nor shocking – and so far there have have been no particular controversy. If it were not that the deputy mayor of Bologna Emily Clancy intervened to regret that these billboards cannot be prohibited. As you know, democracy is beautiful only when it is convenient for us. The deputy mayor claims that the billboards upset reality, putting two completely different things on the same floor (notoriously the same sentence if addressed to a man becomes harmless). Fortunately, it was re -founded (for once!) Both from the Democratic Party and from Fdi, while – and it is not surprising – the commissioner for equal opportunities supported her, even speaking of deception for these billboards. In short, the juice is always the same: yes, okay, some man suffers violence, some man ends up eating Caritas because his wife took everything away, some others suicide because children have been made to believe that it is a violent, but in any case the violence against women is systemic, so we can only hang the posters.

Fortunately, despite the resistances of people who do not want to abandon the power obtained through the terror and hatred campaign, something is still moving. In fact, in addition to these posters, on March 19 there was a heartfelt intervention by the lawyer Angelo Greco in support of the Fathers, as well as other initiatives such as that of the Perseus Association.

Possible openings (perhaps)

Lately there has been even some voice from the feminist world: lawyer, known, as well as for the dissemination in the legal field, also for his feminist activism. In an interview with the end of February he candidly spoke of men victims of violence – as if she herself had not spoken of male privilege until the day before yesterday – explaining how difficult it is for them to report. Beyond doubts about this change of course, it is certainly a good that a voice like his expresses himself on violence against men. Of course, despite this continues to argue that violence against women is more serious: in fact it has even appreciated the bill that makes femicide a more serious crime of the murder.

But we can perhaps not demand too much: to unhinge this structure of convictions, fallacies, lies and beliefs is very difficult. However, we are finally on the right way.