In Italy 4 out of 10 people they admit to having cheated on their partner: for years we have been on the podium of the most unfaithful countries in the world, now losing a few positions. Among the places where there are the most temptations is the workplace. The work dimension, made up of constant presence, sharing of emotions and objectives, inevitably creates fertile ground for the establishment of unfaithful behavior. Phenomenon which, among other things, is changing shape: lo smart working he modified the classic method of betrayal in the office; The micro-cheating it feeds on constant small conversations and digital flirtations, even without involving physicality.
The workplace is psychologically fertile ground
Let’s move on to the workplace approximately a third of our adult lives. But it’s not just a question of time: we invest energy, attention, emotions and part of our daily lives. We share desks, deadlines, coffee breaks, business successes and failures. In some cases we see colleagues more often than our partnerfriends and or even our family. It is no surprise, then, that professional environments have transformed into real ones emotional ecosystemswhere romantic relationships and sometimes even betrayals can arise more easily.
But let’s talk about numbers first. According to an investigation by Forbesbeyond 60% of people has had at least one relationship in the workplace. We are not necessarily talking about infidelity: many of these bonds evolve into stable relationships, cohabitations and some even marriages. On the other hand, there is also a certain amount of “clandestine”: 40% of those interviewed admitted to having cheated your partner with a work colleague. Furthermore, the 50% he confessed to having engaged in flirting dynamics, more or less explicit, within his professional environment.
Stop everyone, let’s do one clarification: before turning the office into the main culprit of couple crises, we need to specify that no job automatically leads to betrayal. Loyalty remains a strictly personal choice, linked to individual values, emotional maturity and above all, the daily commitment we decide to invest in our relationship. What you want to analyze are environmental dynamics that make the space professional psychologically more fertile ground for the birth of intense bonds (and, sometimes, also of “temptations”).
Because right at work: the proximity principle
There social psychology has been talking about the so-called for a long time proximity principle: we tend to create bonds more often with people who are physically close to us. The phenomenon has already been studied in the 1950s by the psychologist Leon Festinger, which by observing the students of a university campus he noticed how friendships and relationships were born much more frequently among those who simply had more meeting opportunities: those who lived on the same landing, walked the same corridors or shared the same spaces.
But proximity alone is not enough. Another fundamental step came a few years later, with the psychologist’s studies Roberto Zajonc, which introduces the concept of mere exposition: the more we are exposed to a stimulus, the more we tend to develop a sense of familiarity and, consequently, a more positive evaluation towards it. In other words, not only do we bond more easily with those we see often, but we also learn to “like” more what becomes familiar.
In addition to the constant presence and routine sharingthe work brings together other ingredients that favor the establishment of emotional bonds:
- common objectives;
- internal language;
- adrenaline and stress;
- moments of fragility
- mutual recognition.
Over time, it creates a sort of “accelerated familiarity”. In fact, if we think about it for a moment, we will realize that the colleague knows very intimate sides of us: he sees our frustrations, experiences moments of success, opportunities for vulnerability and even sides of the personality that are more difficult to emerge in a daily context outside of work.
And the point is also this: Intense emotions strengthen bonds. When we face periods of stress together, a work victory or a complicated situation, we unconsciously tend to associate those sensations with the person who experienced them with us. The adrenaline, the relief, the feeling of being understood or supported, become like this catalysts of emotional complicity which can more easily cross the professional boundary.
From relationships to betrayals: gradual infidelity
Many betrayals at work do not evolve from a specific intention: rarely does anyone enter the office thinking they want to build a parallel relationship. More often, infidelity arises gradually: habitual lunch breaks, messages that go from professional to personal, growing complicity, continuous emotional support (i.e. the need to confide in someone who “understands us”).
According to the same Forbes survey, the conditions associated with a greater likelihood of infidelity at work are: high stress, long shifts, intense closeness between colleagues, frequent travel, night work and highly social environments.
Consequentially, among the most “at risk” professions we find:
- healthcare personnel;
- sellers, IT experts and financial brokers;
- hospitality and events staff;
- stewardesses and pilots;
- managers and corporate;
- catering and hotels.
Of course, this is not to say that these professions automatically “lead” to betrayal. More than the job itself, they seem to count relational conditions that creates: shared time, emotional pressure, sense of team and continuity of contact.
How smart working has changed the way we cheat: micro-cheating
In recent years, the ways of expressing the phenomenon have changed a lot, because the work itself has changed.
With the arrival of smart working, of digital platforms and continuous connection, the relationship with colleagues does not end when you leave the office. Business chats, notifications, calls and messages make the constant and permanent contactas well as easily accessible. And it is precisely in this context that the concept of micro-cheating: term that refers to a form of ambiguous behavior that does not necessarily imply a physical relationship, but still creates a strong emotional intimacy outside the couple (emotional infidelity).
It can be:
- hidden chats;
- constant flirting;
- very intimate confidences;
- nightly messages;
- personal video calls;
- continuous search for emotional validation.
Corporate communication channels are transformed into courtship tools. Exchanging memes, post-work jokes, or goodnight texts disguised as “project updates” create a constant emotional bridge. Since there is no physical contact (yet), those who practice micro-cheating tend to downplay the behavior. However, these behaviors are still experienced as a form of infidelity, because they move part of the intimacy and complicity outside the official relationship emotional. Contemporary betrayal, therefore, no longer involves only the physical dimension; it is often about mutual attention, mental investment and daily involvement.
The consequences in the workplace
Relationships between colleagues are not necessarily a problem; indeed, some data state that 58% have had no changes in productivity, while for 29% there have been professional improvements; only 6% admit to having had their “head in the clouds”. In short, many relationships work and remain perfectly manageable even on a professional level.
But when they come into play betrayal, secrecy or hierarchical relationshipsthe consequences can become more “annoying”, creating tensions between colleagues and teams, company gossip, accusations of favoritism, loss of concentration and discomfort after possible breakups.
The workplace has long ceased to be a simple space dedicated to productivity; has become a complex ecosystem in which a large part of our human sphere is invested and with it, also our vulnerabilities.
Cheating in the workplace
Mere exposure effect
