Killing yourself at 15: bullying cannot be eradicated, but much more can be done
In Senigallia, a fifteen-year-old boy took his own life by shooting himself with his father’s gun. According to the parents, behind this gesture there was repeated harassment from classmates. The mother was even able to name the alleged companions responsible, demonstrating that the family was talking about it, a rather rare fact given that many adolescents are unable to establish any communication channel with their parents, much less on sensitive issues that involve the emotional sphere.
Bullying is a power dynamic
Minister Giuseppe Valditara immediately released high-sounding statements on the matter: ‘We must eradicate bullying from society. It would be nice, but unfortunately it’s impossible. Bullying represents an intrinsic power dynamic in human nature: those who are stronger tend to crush those who are weaker. In the scholastic context, this strength is given above all by extroversion, self-esteem and, in general, social-relational skills. In other words, those who are uninhibited are more likely to turn into a bully and those who are more inhibited (fearful) often tend to become the victim. There is no way to undo bullying, but we can and must try to combat it with all possible means. Even cameras in the classroom are welcome if necessary, but let’s not delude ourselves that this will be enough, also because bullying today seems to take on an increasingly psychological dimension. We must therefore help young people to develop empathy early, that is, that fundamental human ability to identify with the emotions of others. This skill seems to be activated in children from the very first years of life, yet its development is not the same for everyone.
We don’t realize we’re hurting
Various factors can intervene in this sense: from parental education to that of peers, up to obviously the impact of school, the place where most social interactions take place during the growth phase. Empathy is the key skill in preventing bullying, because sometimes, especially children, they don’t even realize they are hurting another person. We need to teach them to recognize other people’s emotions and give them value. They must also be taught to recognize their negative emotions and express them by limiting antisocial behavior. This is evidently a very complex job, made worse by the fact that parents and teachers have not always developed adequate social-emotional skills.
Psychologists and professionals are needed
We therefore necessarily need the permanent presence in each class of an ad hoc professional, probably a psychologist, who dedicates himself exclusively to group dynamics and the development of so-called ‘soft skills’, among which empathy also stands out. There are still too many people today who are convinced that bullying is a useful dynamic for shaping young people, when in reality it does nothing but wear them down and destroy them, with enormous psychological damage that can be seen even many years later. We can no longer afford it, because for one person who commits suicide, hundreds abandon school and never want to return, as demonstrated by the hikikomori. The Senigallia episode is in fact the tip of the iceberg of a much broader youth malaise which has its roots in a school system which is struggling to renew itself and to put the student’s mental health at the center of its programme, even before their votes.