We were invited to a party, we only know a few people, we come introduce yourself and we shake someone’s hand: most of the time what we hear is something like “nice to meet you, I’m Hcbax#2dsa!”. We rarely manage to put aside theemotion focusing on the name and, even the rare times it happens, a few minutes later we have already forgotten it. This happens because we live a overload of informationand we don’t have many others clues to connect a proper name to a person’s face.
When Names Don’t Fit Into Our Heads: The Explanation
When let’s meet new people generally the context presents many new stimuli in addition to new names to learn: new place, social context to frame, new voices and faces never seen before. Our brain is therefore faced with a bombardment of information that engages the mind a lot working memoryThis type of memory has, on average, between five and seven “drawers” where it can keep new information “online”, before the actual memorization process begins.
This means that, at a time when information crowds into our heads, those considered by our brain less important (i.e. less useful to the survival) they come ignore. Come to think of it, it hasn’t been that long since Homo sapiens he allowed himself the luxury of trusting people he had never seen. In ancient times, our progenitors they lived in small groupsand an unfamiliar face tended to mean a threat.
On the other side of the coin, we are well aware that when we meet someone we get nervous for the opposite reason, eager as we are to make a good impression. Just as our brain carefully monitors threats, it also pushes us to socialization (powerful weapon evolutionary (of increasing survival) very often by exaggerating, and activating the circuits stressors And anxiety-inducing. It is therefore clear that the name of the person in front of us often becomes the last piece of information to which our brain pays attention.
Another problem we have with remembering names is that the latter they have no real references that can help us associate a face with it. If when we use a generic name like “dog” we directly associate it with characteristics of what a dog is and how it is made, the same thing does not happen with “Richard” or “Emanuel”.
How to Remember Names Better with Visual Association
To remember a proper name it seems that it needs to be bolstered in our memory with two or three firm nails. In reality, a first trick to try to remember names at first glance is to invent some associations. For example, “Riccardo” contains the word “ricca” in itself, and so if we associate Riccardo’s face with a waterfall of coins falling from the sky, making Riccardo a rich person in our head, we will more easily recover the first part of the name, and consequently the second. This type of associations are very effective because they create referents, that is, they connect a name to something we already know, to a pre-existing memory networkand sometimes you can create some so funny or unique that they easily remain imprinted.
Other strategies for remembering the names of people you’ve just met
The strategy we just talked about is called visual associationbut there are also others, more or less effective depending on the situation. A very simple thing we can do is to repeat the name immediately after hearing it, perhaps including it in a sentence like “Nice to meet you, Richard!”. Repetition creates a double memoryin addition to a sensory memory linked to the sound of our voice pronouncing the name. Of course, if a myriad of people show up at once, repeating each individual name can seem very strange, and may not be so effective.
Another thing we can do is try to to focus consciously during presentations, avoiding distractions as much as possible. Avoid theanxiety and theagitation that the presentation can inspire in us is certainly not easy, but trying and trying again to focus for a few moments before dealing with new acquaintances can help us achieve excellent results in the long run. A good incentive on which we can focus is keeping in mind how pleasant it can be, for the other person, to discover that we remember their name. Finally, let’s not be ashamed of ask to repeat! How many embarrassing situations could have been defused by innocently asking, “Excuse me, what did you say your name was?”
