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“Toxic” is a series that tells the experiences of those who lived firsthand the abuse of substancesand in this episode it is the turn of Ivana. Today 28 years old, medical and marathon runner, her story leads us to reflect on painthe rootsthe suffering And the long journey towards healing. A path that has never been simple, but that today sees her stronger than ever.
Ivana was born in Arezzo, daughter of an Ugandan mother and an Italian father, both doctors. Grows in an environment Calmbut with a professionally committed family, so much so that her main reference figure is the Ugandan grandmother, who transmits her love for African culture, colors and music. Despite the serenity apparent, Ivana warns one lack affective: Parents are often far away because of the work and she grows largely with her grandmother.
During elementary schools, she is a curious and dreamy girl, but things start to change to middle school. Ivana feels more and more isolatedas if it did not belong to anything. He could not bind with his companions, and theinadequacy He began to take root in her, above all because of her origins. The episodes of racism They intensified, including the most imprinted: a boy who derived a necklace of beads that reminded her of Africa, calling it “dog collar”. These events led her to lock up more and more in itself.
At this point in his life, Ivana began to look for escape routes to lighten the weight he felt inside. THE’alcohol It was his first answer. Once, at home, he opened a locker and took the first liqueur he found, feeling immediately “light” And “without worries“. From that moment, alcohol became a constant partner in his days, even while going to school, where he often showed up a little shine, but he still managed to get good votes. However, thealcohol He no longer enough to appease his pain.
The unease that Ivana felt in her daily life pushed her to look for increasingly stronger solutions. During the high school, he began to steal drugs from the mother’s cabinet, doctor, and to take opiates as morphine And Fenanyl. These drugs become his response to pain, both physical and psychological. Ivana felt finally “free”, as if her suffering were anesthetized by the substance. But the abstinence crises became stronger and stronger and forced them to use drugs more and more frequently not to suffer.
The difficulties of his life brought her to a point of break: his parents, worried, decided to send her to Uganda, in an attempt to find her roots and heal her pain. There, however, Ivana found himself facing one tragedy who marked his heart even more deeply: during a robbery, his uncle came killed and she herself was wound severely. At that moment of devastation, Ivana touched the hardness of African hospitals and, despite being in abstinence crisis, she was forced to fight with her pain. His dependence on drugs, however, did not stop even in Africa, where the possibility of buying them without prescription led to a further escalation of addiction.
After the experience in Africa, Ivana returned to Italy, but her life did not improve. The substances continued to control it, until he took refuge in an isolated apartment, where he spent two and a half years in a dependence cycle, sleeping and constantly consuming alcohol and drugs. At that time, Ivana felt as if it were “dead inside“, unable to see a future.
The turning point came when his grandmother, with an unconditional love and a ferocious determination, decided to intervene. At 80, he left everything to take care of Ivana, bringing her to a clinic of detoxification in Verona and subsequently helping her to enter a recovery community. It was thanks to this support figure that Ivana began to embark on the long journey of healing.
In the community, Ivana had to face herself and her fragility. There, among the people who like her had fought against the dependencehe found the courage to open up and share his past. Not only did this help her overcome her sense of solitude, but she also made her discover a new passion: the race. Thanks to the breeder she met in the community, Ivana began to run, not as a competition, but as a form of meditation and listening to itself. The race became one of its greatest achievements, a symbol of resilience. Ivana ran her first marathon in Verona, completing her successfully, and from that moment it has never stopped.
The period spent in the community not only physically healed it, but also allowed her to recover the dream of becoming a doctor. In an environment where mutual listening and care were fundamental, Ivana rediscovered the beauty of medicine, not only as a science, but as an art ofI listen and the relationship. After passing the difficultymanaged to enter medicine, showing herself that the change It was possible.
Today Ivana is in the second year of medicine, lives in Florence and continues to chase her dream. Its history is an example of how it is possible to get out of addiction, despite the suffering and the difficultythanks to the inner force, the help of others and the determination in pursuing their dreams. Ivana, who once felt invisible and unable to face life, now lives with a clear goal: to help others as she has been helped.
If he could speak to the Ivana of the middle school, the one who felt refused and fragile, would say to her:
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is nothing wrong with being yourself.”
His story shows that, when you open to others and face your difficulties, you can find a new path and transform pain into an unstoppable force.
