What happens in our brain when we give or receive a gift according to neuroscience

The Christmas is upon us, and like it or not we will enter the (for some infernal) circuit of the gods gifts. We might as well know what’s going on in our heads! The gesture of giving and receiving activates deep circuits in our brain related to gratification and to social connection. Science reveals to us that behind the exchange of gifts there are complex neurological mechanisms that generate in the giver a emotional “warmth”.and gratitude in those who receive, but also psychological pitfalls due to different perceptions of value between donor and recipient. Gifts can redefine our relationships, act as evolutionary signals of courtship and, in more recent times, evolving towards more conscious and sustainable forms of altruism.

When we donate, the pleasure areas of the brain are activated

Some of us hate giving gifts and receiving them (because it forces us to reciprocate), while others find more pleasure in giving a gift than in receiving it: how is this possible? The answer lies in the complex architecture of our brain. Neuroimaging studies have shown that the decision to donate activates specific areas such as the nucleus accumbens, the ventral striatum and the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, regions associated withprocessing of rewards concrete like food or money: real pleasure, therefore.

You can give something for pure pleasure, or to get something in return. It may sound curious to you to know that, neurally speaking, there is little difference between giving a gift with motivations “altruistic” (donating for the intrinsic pleasure of doing so) or “strategic” (donate to obtain a future advantage, such as reciprocity or a better reputation): both ways turn on the pleasure circuits.

Economists and psychologists call this feeling “warm glow“: it is that internal gratification that derives from the very act of giving voluntarily. Experiments conducted using magnetic resonance imaging have revealed that, although even mandatory money transfers (similar to taxes) can activate the reward centers if the aim is a good cause, it is the voluntary donation to generate significantly higher neuronal activity in the caudate nucleus and nucleus accumbens, accompanied by a greater subjective satisfaction. This sense of freedom to choose to do good seems to be fundamental to our well-being.

The cognitive process when we receive a gift

On the other side of the fence, also the brain of who receives he is intensely involved. The experience of gratitudea complex social emotion, is related to activity in the medial prefrontal cortex, an area linked to moral cognition, value judgment, and “theory of mind” (the ability to understand the mental states of others). There gratitude it is not just a passive reaction, but a cognitive process that evaluates the donor’s intention and effort, signaling our availability for social cooperation. In fact, it turns out that injuries in those specific areas can make people less willing to make physical efforts for others, highlighting how crucial these structures are for our ability to cooperate.

The “psychological traps” behind gift exchange

The world of gifts is littered with psychological traps. One of the most common is theasymmetry of perception between the giver and the recipient regarding the value of the gift. Gift givers tend to believe that spending more guarantees greater appreciation, associating the high price with a stronger signal of thoughtfulness and consideration. However, research shows that this association does not exist for the recipient: recipients do not appreciate expensive gifts significantly more than cheaper ones, since, in general, they tend to do not use price as a yardstick for the feelings of the donor. This misalignment often leads donors to overspend in an attempt to “buy” a stronger emotional reaction, ignoring what actually appears to be the thoughtand not the price tag, to really countbeyond petty do-goodism.

Gifts and social relationships

Gifts are powerful symbolic communication tools which can transform, for better or worse, the very nature of a relationship. According to the relational reformulation model, receiving a gift is not a neutral act, but an event that It allows you to realign interpersonal bonds. A gift can have different effects: it can “strengthen” a bond, (think of an engagement ring or an object that symbolizes a shared experience); it can positively “affirm” an existing relationship, confirming family or friend intimacy.

But it can also have negative effects: there are gifts that confirm the absence of attention or little consideration (like a nice ham to that person who… oops, it’s true, is a vegetarian!), gifts that weaken the bond because they are perceived as offensive or inappropriate, and even gifts that lead to the definitive breakdown of the relationship, if interpreted as a threat or an violation of expectations (you will all remember the warning: I wanted a black, black, black cat, you gave me a white one, and I don’t fit anymore!). The emotions felt at the moment of receiving the gift (joy, but also embarrassment, anger or disappointment) are the lenses through which the recipient decodes the message of the gift and, sometimes, decides the future of the relationship. This is not to instill psychological terrorism, but only to remember that a minimum of attention is enough to make the other perceive the consideration towards her or him.

From one evolutionary perspectivethe gift has deep roots that lie in courtship strategies. Game theoretic models suggest that, in mating contexts, i “extravagant” gifts (i.e. expensive for the male but without any real practical benefit for the female) may have evolved as signs of strength. An expensive but “useless” gift (such as a non-functional piece of jewelry or a bouquet of flowers) serves to demonstrate the donor’s ability to invest resources and, at the same time, acts as a filter to discourage potential contenders. In this sense, the economic inefficiency of the gift paradoxically becomes its communicative strength. It’s no coincidence that it’s called “handicap selection principle“: I deprive myself of value to show that I am so well off that I can afford to squander resources. It is not a uniquely human dynamic: do you think that the enormous and heavy tail of the male peacock serves such different purposes?

However, in the contemporary societywe are witnessing a cultural evolution towards conscious gift. Faced with the acceleration of consumption and the exhaustion of material resources, a new sensitivity emerges that integrates care for oneself, for society and for the environment. Conscious giving involves careful consideration of, and seeks to, the impact of the gift avoid excessive and repetitive consumptionfavoring gifts that promote the long-term well-being.